You'd Be Happier Living Closer to Friends. Why Don't You?

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By: Culture Study
Friendship

You’d Be Happier Living Closer to Friends. Why Don’t You?

A recent article in The Atlantic made the case for doing something that a lot of us — particularly those in our 30s and 40s, especially those whose careers (or whose partners’ careers) have led us to live in places where we wouldn’t necessarily choose to live — spending a lot of time thinking and dreaming about. Specifically: moving closer to your close friends.

Matei cites a study that found that friends living within a mile of each other are 25 percent more likely to feel happy You can still live alone but have the benefits of not living alone.

But I think a lot about the people whose career paths forced them to follow-the-jobs, often to places far away from anyone they’ve known.

Sure, you can make new friends — and many have and do, particularly if they have kids in school. But there’s something different about the intimacy and reliability of 1) your family (depending, of course, on your relationship with your family) and 2) the friends you’ve known so long they feel like family.

for people who crave this, who may be close to their parents or even a whole lot of their family members but really wish they could be close to their friends…why isn’t it happening?

A few theories:

1.) We’re Not Socialized to Prioritize Friendship

2.) The Friends, They’re Scattered

3.) It’s the Housing Market, Stupid

4.) Job Lock

5.) Many States Aren’t Safe — For So Many Reasons

I am talking about states that have criminalized or significantly curtailed gender-affirming care and body autonomy. Places where you can’t get an abortion or life-saving care if you need a DNC

6.) You Actually Do Kind of Have This, But It’s Still Slightly Out of Reach

Over-scheduled calendar culture dooms us. When you live in the city or a suburb, it’s not enough to live kinda close, you’ve got to live SUPER CLOSE.

7.) We Seek Solutions Within the Family Unit — Not Outside of It

part of the reason we don’t rely on our intimate friends is because we haven’t stress-tested those relationships past their initial parameters.